New home

Smokey loves being a country dog. The darkness is a stark contrast to the constant buzz of city street lights. And quiet. At night not a sound other than a frog croak or cricket chirp. Gone are the hospital sirens, car doors slamming and occasional gun shot. Our new home has a screened porch overlooking a pond. There are weeping willows along the bank. About 100 yards from our front door is a boat ramp with marsh access. With one small road leading to this area Smokey has the privilege of running off leash. Earlier this week he met two Black Labradors who live nearby. They jumped and ran together..... for a 86 pound Labradoodle life does not get any better than this.

My favorite part of our new life is the in-ground neighborhood pool. It is surrounded by over sized deck chairs, tables with large umbrellas, oyster roasting open fireplace and grill any man would salivate over. The shallow end is zero entry with jets of water that shoot up, indeed fun for the little ones.

If I swim from one end to the other I think it is about 20 yards. Not exactly regulation but you cannot beat swimming under the sun (or moon) walking distance from my house. The water is gentle and healing for my sore hips and back. Almost like magic the sore spots melt away after floating and stretching in the water. I am still wearing a normal swimsuit but the boobs and belly are pulling tight. I wonder if the baby is learning to to love the motion in the water?

Two nights ago my swim was shared with a large frog. Apparently he found the pool most delightful as well. Lap swimming with my goggles on I could see how graceful he moved through the water. A big frog kick, glide, kick, glide, kick, glide. And funny, there were noticeably fewer little critters buzzing over the water surface.

Moving Day

No way to tread lightly here. I haven't blogged, really in months. Those close to me have seen changes, bold but gradual. Don't be startled- the comprehensive update in bullets- I am leaving this city for the beautiful eastern coast, taking a faculty position at an University, uprooting my husband, having a baby in December.

The movers are packing, literally right now. Our life in boxes, the usual order dismantled- including wireless router. I am grateful for an unknown gracious neighbor from whom I am pirating WiFi. With my recent sad goodbyes a good friend told me I need to start blogging again. Especially since I am moving away and leaving so many dear friends behind. So here I begin again.

One big concern, and a reason I have been silent is the veil of anonymity. I really like writing about my life, feelings and relationships. As I leave training and become a real "professional" I need to either write less specific or go deeper under cover. Probably not a good idea for my patients to find my blog. Haven't completely reconciled this yet- but fully intend to post updates and pics of my new life here.

Times are changing.

It is happening all over the hospital. Fresh eyed young students arrive in their perfectly pressed short coats. They have just spent the summer studying for Step I of the boards, and can hardly conceal their excitement to touch real patients for the first time. Bewildered slightly older young interns wearing equally unstained long white coats, with pockets stuffed with crib notes. How to run a code, what dose of sleeping pill to give, normal lab values. Their arrival is like a breeze of fresh air.

Not too long from now the med students will look like hell- suffering their first post call days. When every cell in the body is SCREAMING to lie down and close the eyes, and it seems impossible that such torture will become a new way of life. The interns will no longer look frightened. With long lists of patients, hours of notes to write and endless check boxes to fill they will become engrossed in their daily tasks. They will awaken sometime in next Spring- and realize 10 months have passed.

On the flip side are the dinosaurs. Like me. Ten years ago I first set foot into the hospital. A decade of training. When I look around I remember the hospitals I entered and eventually conquered. Incomprehensible the number of patients I have laid my hands on. And then those who died, whose families I counseled. From the confidence of thinking you know everything, to the painful realization you do not, then pretending confidence (not to worry the patients), gradually evolving to the place where you really do know a lot and can do a lot- competently.

Yes times are a changin'. It is a new beginning.

Back in the Saddle

More news actually. Today was my first day back doing procedures- since my hip surgery. I was a little anxious about being able to stand the whole morning- I can remember how grueling these clinics were last year. I would dose up on Motrin before and during the busy schedule. And today, NO PAIN! None. I am so relieved.

An two patients told me after their heart biopsy that it was the BEST one they have ever had. Quite a compliment from transplant patients who have basically had any and every procedure under the sun. So I feel pretty pumped up.... I am good, I've still got it, and I'm back!

On the road

I am officially on the interview trail. Must tell you it is SO much better this time around! They had a limo waiting for me at the airport, then delivered me to the hotel where I was given a suite. A suite! As I stretched out on the king sized bed with the high thread count sheets I called my husband. In remembrance of the difficult interview tours for residency and fellowship. Where I had to pay for every flight and hotel. I think I am still paying.... the cost was tagged onto my student loans... which are no where close to being paid off.

True there were some exciting adventures.... teaming up with a perfect stranger to drive 6 hours from interview A to interview B, then sleeping on no-longer-strangers couch a few day later for interview C. Being snowed in at Raleigh-Durham, forced to stay extra night at a shabby Motel 6, sick with fever and rigors. What misery! No story quite like Dr. G's (my OB/gyne). She came upon a laboring woman at the airport, and delivered the baby into her interview suit coat.

So I am keeping my mind open and hopes up to find the right place.