Science of Joy

There are people who are incapable of being content. Their best day is one wrought with challenge, heroic rising to the occasion, finishing with exhaustion. Lying in bed at night they feel like a survivor and revel in what they were able to accomplish against all odds.

Days with less obstacles are slightly uncomfortable, lying in bed wondering am I good enough, am I important?

Success brings stability and material wealth. Running from the uncomplicated-day-insecurity focus turns toward perfecting the world around them. The simplest becomes complicated, with layers of rules and "correct" strategies. Grocery shopping involves travel to six different stores, in a particular order, to obtain specific items. Efforts to create a "nice" event are so cumbersome all involved become so stressed that no one has a good time. All joy extinguished.

Certain events or milestones in life are expected to be happy times. Birthday parties, vacations, graduations. In my memories I recall being told what a lovely day we had but not feeling it. Happiness felt like anxiety, complication and disappointment over imperfection.

Recently wondering if there is something wrong with me, am I capable of being happy? Others around me seem to be: with a sunny day, relaxing afternoon, visit with a friend. I rest only with exhaustion. Reflecting on my success with the deck stacked against me, indeed exceeding expectations.

To learn joy- childlike contentment. Yes, a skill that will make me a better person. Indeed. Perhaps I should start with a list of ways to describe this joy..... then test methods to achieve it.... maybe then a survey to determine the effect of this joy.... whew I've got a long way to go...... I'd better get back to you on this one.....