Upside Down

When babies are very young they have the Moro reflex. It is also called the startle reflex. After hearing a loud noise the throw their little arms out and wave them back and forth. This is an involuntary reaction, and fun to elicit as a med student rotating in pediatrics.

If only there were an involuntary response for the shock that comes with the little surprises of adulthood. My conditioned response includes anxiety and worry- both old friends that I would rather be without.

Sixteen years ago I set a goal. Become a doctor. Four years of college, four of med school, four of residency and now four of fellowship. I made it. I am a doctor. A fairly specialized one at that. So how can it be that I have no earthly idea what I will be doing three months from now?!!

Listening to my heart of hearts. Deciding the bedside is better for me than the bench side. Next tossed out of this "Top 10" medical school on my little bottom. Oh boy. No I will not starve to death. I am certain that I will find a job. It is just difficult to pick yourself up from disappointment, and wrap yourself up into a presentable package to peddle around.

The first step to decide you are on the wrong path. Next step to find the right one? This time I am seeking joy.