Folding the laundry this morning I had a moment of clarity. Since my beginning cardiology fellowship in 2004 I have made a concerted effort to help other women interested in cardiology, and foster a network among the female fellows. This is necessary because women make up less than 10% of cardiologists. In the office shared with the other (male) fellows, it is not unusual to find porn posted, and many (even attendings) remember fondly the days when a stripper pole was installed as a joke.
My efforts have faced disappointment, as to my dismay there is dissension among the women training behind me. Frustrated and perplexed up until now, the meditation of ordering the white t-shirts and matching socks brought a new understanding.
Faced with challenges each of us found (our own) way to survive. Mine is trying to create a better atmosphere for the future. A close colleague looks out for herself and hates everyone. Another is flirtatious and keeps the guys off balance by being unexpected. One found support in another fellow, they will be married this year.
We need to transcend to understand that we still have more in common that we are different. Referee I am not, yet the mother in me still hopes to see these beautiful, passionate, brilliant women together.... for unified we could be a force.
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1 comment:
I'm impressed by two things:
1. Your consistent drive to cope with frustration and aversity by trying to make it better for others
2. Your writing
I'm very jealous of both. I hope you're not too frustrated by the fact that other people are not as generous.
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