Ibuprofen

Prescription strength ibuprofen. Proven to eliminate inflammation. Worked wonders for my athletic related injuries throughout the years. Why is it not making this pain go away? From physical therapy I learned that my hip injury has affected my gait- and the inactivity has made the muscles of my hips and pelvis weak. So funny twist, funny pain each laughing at the ibuprofen. Arghhhh! I am so annoyed by the pain. I have a massage scheduled tomorrow night with an excellent therapist. Scheduled it last month planning for the exam, now I am very glad that I did.

Count down

Five days until my exam. Let me tell you I had a freak out Friday about Posterior Hemiblocks. What a pain in the ass. Determining the frontal axis on a 12-lead EKG, arhghh! Good thing no one ever dies of an isolated left posterior fasicular block.

Speaking of pain in the ass I woke up with one this morning- literally. So my hip is still there, my blissful denial is also coming to an end. My people are waiting in the wings, ready to plan my convalescence. I am fortunate to be surrounded with support.

Also boycotting Halloween this year. Last year October 31st was circled on my calendar. It was my first pre-natal exam. Me and my humongous boobs dressed up as a sultry pirate. The real fright came when the ultrasound was not normal. Later the bloodbath followed by a haunting. But that was a year ago. I'm just really glad that last year we decided against buying that cute 12 month pumpkin costume off the sale rack.

I am aware of the absence. Absence of excitement and optimism. Yet surprised by the steadfast pleasure in my life- despite the pain, disappointment, physical inactivity and (prolonged) delayed gratification. I think I owe that to the wing people.

The Future?

When away in Cleveland I had a meeting with a special family member. The mother of my brother's boyfriend. My bro and TM have been dating for several years now. I fell in love with T immediately. His presence at our family gatherings always adds warmth. The mothers have had meetings in the past, noteably a fun trip to NYC where they shopped, dined and talked for hours.

Meeting Ms. M made Cleveland feel like home. Their family has been having a difficult time, and with my recent struggles our suffering met mutual understanding.

After a great dinner (good food + 2 martinis) we ambled through a quaint Ohio small town. We happened upon a Forture Teller. It was whimsy for me (later to learn a serial expereince for Ms. M). We ventured up the stairs behind the dark door, the storefront marked by a neon sign in the shape of a crystal ball.

Forty dollars afforded me three questions for the future teller. But before I could get started she offered: Two women who you think are friends will betray you. You will write a book that will be read around the world. There is something in your way, something that you have been dealing with for a long time- you must continue to push forward.

My questions: Will I have children? Yes. A boy and a girl.

Should I have surgery? Trust those who with the answers. Do not be afraid of what you do not know.

Will I find happiness? You will spend a lifetime seeking it, a pursuit with much gratification.


Sometimes I think back to that evening. Was it my fortune? Was it the heartfelt visit with a kindred spirit? Was it the opportunity to look into T's childhood, growing my understanding and affection for my brother's love? Whatever, it made me feel keenly alive. A moment where the surrounding reality met a central peace. Serene and surreal. The memory of that emotion I borrow today.

Where did I go?

Still studying. Board exams suck. Not much else to say- or even think about.