Nervous?

People ask if I am nervous about my surgery. The answer is absolutely, but you might be surprised by what I am worried about. There is no anxiety regarding the operative technique, being put to sleep or even pain. I am worried about keeping my composure. Also figuring the right balance between paying attention (which as a MD might actually be helpful) and letting go allowing others to cover all the details. The risk of complication was figured into my decision to undergo the repair. Thinking about it, I want go through the same motions as all other patients. I want the doctors and nurses to be in their regular routine. This I will focus on when I grow impatient or frustrated.